Mass Effect: OMG a Mass Effect theme park ride is opening in California in 2016

Be prepared to shit yourselves out of excitement and then be completely let down as I explain the details.

From Kotaku:

The ride, which will debut at California‚Äôs Great America in 2016, is said to be a ‚Äúdynamic 3D adventure set in the Mass Effect universe,‚ÄĚ with ‚Äúcutting-edge 3D technology and 4D effects.‚ÄĚ It involves visiting one of the game‚Äôs planets and battling ‚Äúlarger-than-life foes,‚ÄĚ with the help of a live performer.

Bioware’s partnering with Cedar Fair for the project. The company currently operates fifteen amusement parks throughout the US.

So, first off, my hyper-excited brain initially processed this as a California Adventure (the theme park by Disney) ride and I got suuuuuper excited because Disney makes some high-quality theme park stuff. ¬†However, this is actually NOT the same park. ¬†It’s some¬†small theme park in Santa Clara. ¬†Cedar Fair, the parent company that owns California’s Great America, also owns a bunch of other small parks around America. ¬†Most notably Knott’s Berry Farm, I think. ¬†Anyway, so meh. ¬†I’ve been to Knott’s Berry Farm, it’s like a low-rent Six Flags – very ride/rollercoaster-focused, not very environment/immersion-focused:

Anyway, so a “3D adventure set in the Mass Effect universe” is probably like a motion ride a la the Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios, only probably less production value. ¬†Hehe, I know, I’m such a hater. ¬†But seriously, I feel like the ride is a badly conceived promotional ploy from people who have never even played Mass Effect before. ¬†Because if they had, they would realize that we fans don’t care about some motion ride that jerks us around as a 3D video plays before us. ¬†We care about immersion. ¬†We want a Mass Effect world, like the Harry Potter world at Universal Studios, complete with Diagon Alley and Hogwarts. ¬†We want to stroll through the Citadel and listen to the weird ramblings of passing Hanar. ¬†We want to butt heads with Krogans. ¬†We want to pass by stores that say, “I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.”

A motion ride for Mass Effect just completely misses the whole point.

What are your thoughts?  Am I being totally ungrateful?  Let me know in comments!


  1. GhostFace1973 September 30, 2015
  2. Endo September 30, 2015

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